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What are some ways to make friends as an adult?

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Making friends as a kid was easy. As an adult, however, I find that it is harder to meet people. Are there any good ways to make new friends as an adult?
asked Sep 24, 2015 in Relationships by anonymous
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The concept that making friends is easier when you are a kid is not just a popular conception, but actually true. Science has demonstrated that making friends is harder after people turn 30. That being said, it's still important to make and have friends. Humans are social creatures that need a good, full set of relationships, and as people age, new relationships might be necessary to replace family members who have moved away, children who grow up and start their own lives, and even fill gaps left by older individuals who pass away. Having said that, with a little intention and work, it is still possible to make friends as an adult.

The first thing you have to do is deal with yourself first. Check in with yourself emotionally. Putting yourself out there and opening up for new relationships is emotionally challenging, and you might not be in an immediate position to do it. Do you have any personal needs you need to deal with first on your own?

Second, make sure you have the resources to make relationships and social matters happen. Is there enough free time in your schedule? Do you have enough discretionary income to afford doing things? Do you have enough energy to go out and be social?

Third, pick your passions over people. It can be easy at first to just start firing off event or schedule suggestions to people at the fringe of your current social circle, but to find relationships that will carry themselves for the most part, it is better to have relationships with individuals that share passions with you. If you love hiking, identify or invite others you know that also enjoy the activity. Make a list of people that you know that read a lot like you maybe do.

The last step is the simplest, but maybe the hardest, and that's to be proactive. It's not enough to create space in your life for social matters or be open. You have to be the initiator. Call up potential hiking buddies and suggest a trail and particular weekend. Email fellow readers and set up a book club.

Other steps you can take that can lead to more social activity in your life include refreshing your social media use, using your children and/or pets for finding connections, going to night school and volunteering.

[1]http://www.bustle.com/articles/90744-7-ways-to-make-new-friends-as-an-adult-because-its-not-as-easy-as-it
[2]http://www.huffingtonpost.com/margaret-manning/make-friends-as-an-adult_b_7529424.html


answered Sep 25, 2015 by Topher (27,830 points)
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I think a good way to make friends when you are an adult is to try to find people who share common interests with you. For example, if you are a fan of a certain sports team, you could hang out at places where people watch their games. If you like to knit or do something else with your hands, you could look for a knitting circle in your area. Joining these groups lets you meet new people, and since you know that you all have at least one thing in common, it makes it easier to talk to them.

 

Of course, just because you both like one thing does not mean that you are going to become friends, but it does make it easier. You also need to make sure that you are not being scared away by a fear of rejection. Remember, just because one person does not want to be your friend does not mean that nobody wants to be your friend. There are billions of people in the world, so there are going to be people out there who like you.

 

Make enough time in your schedule for your friends. After all, it is very hard to be friends with someone if you never see them. If you have a really busy schedule, you still need to make an effort to carve out some space so that you can spend time with other people. This is particularly important when you are first getting to know someone.

 

I think the most important tip is just to be persistent and do not give up. If you keep trying and putting yourself out there, eventually you will be able to make some great new friends, no matter how old you are!

 

 

Sources:

http://www.redbookmag.com/life/friends-family/g524/make-friends-as-an-adult/

https://experiencelife.com/article/making-friends-as-an-adult/

answered Sep 26, 2015 by Mark Wink (13,830 points)
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It is a little harder to make friends as an adult, but it is not impossible. Keep the following tips in mind.

 

1. Figure out what you have in common. People like to hang out with others that have a similar outlook on life and that share similar interests. If you want to become friends with someone, listen to what they have to say and chime in when they share something that you can relate to.

 

2. Reach out. Speak to your neighbors, your co-workers or even someone waiting with you in line. Be friendly, be approachable and see what happens.

 

3. Work through your fears. Many adults worry about rejection. Remember that most people have the same fears that you do. There will be times that you experience rejection when you put yourself out there, but there are many more times that you will be successful, as long as you try.

 

References:

 

http://www.adultsocialskills.com/howtomakefriends.htm

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrea-bonior/making-new-friends-as-an-adult_b_2854095.html

answered Oct 1, 2015 by Unckelli (50,310 points)

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