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How do I get out of the friendzone?

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asked Feb 15, 2016 in Relationships by Chris
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2 Answers

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Well, you've already taken the first step. You've admitted that your in the Friend Zone and you don't like being there.
The tricky part is figuring out how your friend sees you. What role do you play in their life? If you are somehow felt as a family member, you're in trouble. If on the other hand you're somehow a Plan B who is just currently too available, you might have room to change the dynamics.

At some point though, you have to just confront the situation. You have to confess your feelings and then walk away. Of course confessing your feelings is best done in person, in private, with all parties sober. Forget it if you're thinking about doing it via text, chat, phone or anything electronic. The other party can't just hear your words, they need to feel them and believe the sincerity.

Then comes the hardest part: you have to end the friendship. Your friend might not ever truly realize if they want you or not until they miss you. If they haven't developed romantic feelings for you while being friends before, that won't change in the future.

Back out of their life and move on. Change up your look, fill up your schedule, and make yourself available to date others. You're done waiting for love, and your sudden lack of availability (perhaps with a little new mystery) will make your "friend" quickly realize whether or not they are interested in you or not.

If they are, you'll hear from them. If not, you're already back on the dating scene and moving on from what was never going to be.

answered Feb 16, 2016 by Topher (27,830 points)
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Most men, at one point or another, have been caught in the friend zone. There are specific reasons and behaviors that get men caught in this trap.


Men get caught in the friend zone when they fail to make an appropriate "move" on the girl that they are interested in. Other factors that are responsible for getting you caught in the friend zone include:


Playing therapist as she complains about her ex-boyfriend.


Going shopping with her.


Trying to solve all of her life's problems.


Don't get me wrong, these behaviors are perfectly okay if you want to be her friend or are already her boyfriend. But these are not going to help you attract her in a romantic way. Remember, she has girlfriends for this stuff.



What you need to do, is step away from the situation entirely. If you have hobbies, get back to them. If you don't, find some. Just start to develop a high quality life and just spend less time with this particular girl. Go out and meet new people. Focus on your career. Just be less available to her and give her the gift of missing you. When she calls or texts you asking where you have been, just tell her that you are busy.


Once you have learned how to create a great and abundant life, this girl will now see you in a whole new light. She will have noticed the sudden change in you and hopefully she will now want to be more than just friends.




[1] http://www.noend-insight.com/

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friend_zone

answered Feb 17, 2016 by benbailey (5,400 points)

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